A Who-What-When Checklist for Wedding Thank You Notes

Don’t let a blog title about wedding thank you notes scare you off! We promise to make this easy.  Stay here for a quick check list and handy links to help you get your notes done right. If there’s anything more important in wedding planning than sending timely personal thank you notes, we can’t think of it.


WHO Gets Wedding Thank You Notes?

Anyone who gives:

  • Engagement party gifts
  • Wedding shower gifts
  • Gifts received before or after the wedding
  • Gifts received after the honeymoon
  • Group gift*
  • Monetary gift (e.g. cash gift or donation to a charitable cause in your honor)

*Send individual thank you notes to each contributor for small groups, such as 4-5 gift givers. For larger group gifts, a single thank you note is sufficient.

Others who give of their time, talent or generosity:

  • Party hosts (engagement, shower, bachelorette, your parents)
  • Wedding Party Attendants
  • Officiant
  • Musical director, organist, etc.
  • Babysitters, last-minute assistants and helpers
  • Other vendors or suppliers who go above and beyond

WHAT Type of Wedding Thank You Notes?

  • Use personalized stationery.


  • Before the wedding, use stationery personalized with unmarried names (individually personalized stationery is fine), or with first names only (or first-name monograms).
  • For notes sent after the wedding, popular options for joint personalization include:
    • Mr. and Mrs. William Alexander Kleinfeld
    • Mr. and Mrs. Kleinfeld (monogram: K)
    • Rachel and William Kleinfeld (monogram: R K W) … Remember, ladies first!
    • Rachel & William (monogram: R & W) … Remember, you can use first-name notes before and after the wedding!


  • Handwritten, always.
    Click here for an easy step-by-step writing guide that’s heartfelt, simple and quick.
  • Signed by both Bride and Groom (usually).
  • Matching envelope and hand-stamped.

Some optional features:

  • Folded or flat
  • Monogrammed (Be attentive to proper pre and post-wedding monograms. Click here for more tips about the marriage monogram.)
  • Personalized with a wedding photo and/or wedding date
  • Pre-printed “thank you” message


WHEN do I send Wedding Thank You Notes?

Late is better than never, but timely is the rule. Here are some commonly prescribed guidelines:

  • Within 10 days after a wedding shower (some say 2 weeks … close enough!)
  • Within 2 weeks after you receive a gift (or service) before the wedding
  • Within 3 months following your honeymoon for gifts received after the wedding … or the best you can do!

WHAT does all this mean?

  • Order early. (You’ll need a set of thank you notes before your even married!)
  • Order extras. (Gifts will keep on coming!)
  • Order two sets. (Before and after wedding stationery could be different depending on name changes and is a wonderful way to communicate your choice in married names to guests and others.)
  • Keep a record  (Who gave what)
  • Stock up on stamps. (Specialty stamps are a nice touch!)
  • Order more. (Again!)

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